Are You a PROACTIVE Person or a REACTIVE?
Do you agree with this statement:
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react?”
I remember I was interviewing at my first job out of college at Equinox and I mentioned this statement to the interviewer. I wanted to impress him, of course, (which worked because I got the job), but I also wanted to let him know that despite being a naive 21-year-old, new to the industry, I was always willing to take full responsibility for my actions. It was and still is a statement that I wholeheartedly stand behind and believe in this day.
How you RESPOND to anything dictates the path of your life. Yes, we may not have control over most things that happen to us daily but learning how to harness the mind and choosing to respond instead of emotionally reacting are two different things.
Every time you CHOOSE to respond properly, positively, and proactively, you're taking another step to a more successful route. On the contrary, every time you CHOOSE to respond poorly, you're taking a step backward.
When we react out of emotions, its usually explosive and almost thoughtless - it's second nature and often ruled purely by emotion.
Responding, or being proactive, is calm, lead by logic, and requires intelligent thinking/processing before doing - it's unfortunately not second nature, which is why we have to choose to do so.
Proactive people plan ahead and think about what may becoming next. They’re able to put their emotional brain to the side and think logically, before letting emotions come into the situation. I believe we all have the ability to be proactive- it just takes practice!
Let me give you another personal example:
I used to not be able to be in the same room as my mother as a teen because her actions and words would trigger TF out of me and I couldn’t help myself but to simply REACT. I would often become angry with her by her words (no matter how predictable and consistently hurtful they were) and things would often escalate pretty quickly from verbal arguing to physical.
Here’s the thing though, I knew my mother would say things that would trigger me. I knew she wasn’t changing a damn thing in her life and the way she thought. Still, I would let her ruin my day.
So, when did things change for me?
When I began doing the work on myself to start proactively responding instead of emotionally reacting. Tangible things/thought processes that helped me:
Learning how to manage expectations and focus on what I had control over. No one else is/was changing so what do I need to do to move towards a place of tranquility and peace?
Set boundaries with people and stick to them.
Learn how to meditate allowed me to pause, breathe and THEN respond. Oddly, I wasn’t triggered by people’s words anymore once meditation became an integral part of my life.
Have empathy for others and understand the way they treat/view me has more to do with THEM than me.
The reality is going from being a reactive person to a proactive person takes time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect and still REACT when certain people (usually close to me) say something hurtful. But for the most part nowadays, I don’t let things out of my control get to me. I understand that life is always going to throw us curveballs, that’s inevitable. I’m just now much more focused on the things that I have control over.
This entire email to you can boil down to that one takeaway.
Your responses and reactions are your choice. When you CHOOSE to let things pull you down, irritate you, or ruin your day... that’s your decision. Not the person who triggered you or the unfortunate circumstance which you cannot control.
All you.
I’m telling you this to empower you. Because once we change the way we view things, things in our life change. We all have a choice. One of the most powerful books in the world, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, reiterates this so many times and when it comes to transforming your body, getting lean, building muscle, improving your performance in AND out of the gym, increasing brain function and cognitive abilities...The principle of choice is what will get you there. Or as the book would say, the habit of choice and decision.
It's YOUR decision if you change.
It's YOUR decision if you let comparison stop your actions.
It's YOUR decision to limit alcohol and prioritize sleep.
It's YOUR decision to focus on what you can control.
It's YOUR decision to invest in your health and happiness.
It's YOUR decision to go to the gym and meal prep.
It's YOUR decision to view the process as difficult or simple.
All I'm encouraging you to do is to be proactive, not reactive. You always have the choice to change. And the good news? It's never too late to start.